April 2, 2008
(For Wordless Wednesday scroll down)
Periphery
I still watch over you, son
I’ll never stop worrying or praying or being proud
Your growing and changing, maturing and mating
It makes no difference to a mother’s care
On Monday you two will be joined
Sweethearts, friends, lovers and now mates for life
Together you create a new center, a new unit
And I shall rejoice in your joy from the periphery
Day Two. 28 more. Over and out.
April 2, 2008
March 19, 2008
Here is the first glimpse of my next grandchild (primarly belonging to his parents MacDougal and Funsize I guess):
February 12, 2008
I am not watching Jericho right now. I know this must shock and amaze you. No worries, I have the kids TIVOing it for me (I don’t actually have TIVO, but they do).
What, praytell (you are all thinking) could keep Vixen from the return of Jericho?????
MacDougal arrived with his fiance an hour ago and announced (drumroll, please)…………..
I am going to be a Grandma again!!!!!!!!!!!!
My first thought? Hey, so there was no permanent damage. And you know what? That was Macdougal’s first thought also.
Well, folks, here we go again. Woo hoo.
November 19, 2007
I got a little excited about finishing the long saga of MacDougal, not because I was tired of writing it, but because people kept asking me when I was going to be done!
In my haste to sum up, I forgot to mention a few things:
November 18, 2007
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 2 and 3 Revisited Part 4
We arrived at the ER in about 15 minutes. MacD was in pain and very down. Someone from the lab came to draw pre-surgical blood. Her name was Jocelyn, but we ended up calling her the blood draw beast from hell. She stuck MacD three times before she got the blood she needed. Then she came back five minutes later and said the blood “hemolized” and she had to re-draw it all. That also took three attempts in the other arm. The regular nurse had difficulty getting the IV started. MacD complained long and hard that it didn’t feel right and was very painful. Just then an ER doc came in to check him over and admit him for surgery. I told him what MacD said about the IV. He glanced at it passingly and said it was fine. He went back to questioning MacD about his history. The nurse in the room looked at me and mouthed silently that she would replace it in a minute. A moment later, I looked down at his hand where the IV was; he was bleeding and there was already a small pool of blood on the floor. The doc looked embarrassed and quickly left the room.
As we were waiting for MacD to be taken to surgery, he began talking to me earnestly about how he didn’t feel good about this. It felt wrong. He was afraid he wasn’t going to make it. He said he had a good life and was tired of this fight. He was tired of being in pain and tired of having surgery. I was so upset. I tried everything to cheer him up, to lift his spirits, to revive his spirit. I finally ended up promising him a concept Camaro if he would fight and live. I still owe him that car.
This surgery took an hour or so. I noticed immediately after we finally got back to the room that MacD looked better than he had since this began. His color was better. He recovered from the anesthesia quicker and was joking around with the nursing staff who knew us very well now. They said he was there so much, he should have a wing named after him. By the second day he was circling the nurses station on his walks.
It was not all fun and games after that. Recovery was slow and painful. There were many more doctor visits and the entire summer was spent with CT recuperating but alive.If you are one of the poor people who have read my blog in depth, you will know that in 2005 I lived through participated in witnessed two miracles. I am very blessed and thank God every day for my life. Now that this saga is over, you are all probably disappointed that the final entry is so tame. That is ok. My point in sharing this story is to raise awareness about diabetes. MacD is now in complete control of his diabetes, on the lowest medication, and there is a possibility he will be able to discontinue oral medications altogether soon. But he will have to remain vigilant his entire life, as he is a diabetic.
Things you should learn from this story (in my opinion): Love well and hard every single day, you never know what tomorrow will bring. Keep your faith even in the most trying times. My son is awesome. Get a physical every single year. What doesn’t kill you? It makes you stronger.
The End
Don’t forget to check my 365 Project…
November 18, 2007
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 2 and 3 Revisited Part 4
Before you continue on, please go back and re-read Part Four. I got confused about the timeline regarding his last surgery (there were so many).
He was released from the hospital in just enough time to attend graduation, albeit in a wheelchair.
I thought maybe, just maybe things were going be ok.
A few days after graduation, MacD wanted to go to the fair. I didn’t feel comfortable with that, but he pulled the “I am 18” card and went anyway. His fiance and her family wheeled him around all day. That night when I was changing his dressing I noticed more redness. A tempurature check revealed a slight fever. I called Dr. B and he told me to take him to the ER for probably surgery. I prayed and hoped, but inside my heart was breaking again.
To be continued…
November 17, 2007
At home I began the task of nursing and mothering. I have a strong stomach and a natural ability to switch into auto-mode when necessary. However, no mental shutting down while caring for MacD could keep out the pain if felt seeing him try so bravely to not let me know how badly I hurt him during wound care. He became sullen and withdrawn. Bored and antsy. Depressed and hopeless.
We followed up the second day with his primary care who scarcely believed our story. She asked us to wait and went out to have the records faxed over from the hospital. She was stunned. We received our “official” diagnosis of diabetes and a medication plan. Less than a week later, the world crashed down around me again.
Physically, it appeared things were running along smoothly. Not progressing so much, as it was going to be a very slow process, but remaining the same. I worried about his emotional and mental well-being and closely monitored and cared for his wounds. We followed up with doctors every few days and kept him as free from pain as I could. One morning, at dressing change, I noticed a very slight increase in redness around one portion of the gaping wound. I peered closer and to my dismay discovered the redness spread over to the unaffected thigh/testicle. I called Dr. B’s office and left a message with the nurse. She said it was likely nothing more than irritation, but would let the doctor know when he got into the office after surgery later that afternoon. Unbeknownst to her (and me), Dr. B had flagged MacD’s chart and was to be paged immediately if I called, no matter what I said. He called back in 5 minutes, asked me to explain him what I saw. I really didn’t think it was bad at all, but I had become very overcautious. He agreed it was possibly nothing, but said he trusted my opinion and instincts. He insisted I bring MacD to the office immediately.
At the office, only a short while later, Dr. B examined MacD. The redness was brighter and swelling had begun. He felt it was a small infection and moved us into his office surgery suite. He thought he could drain it easily and avert any further problems. MacD was brave as I held his hand and prayed aloud with him. Dr. B lanced and drained. The nurse actually started crying (a lot of nurses cried, which should have made me feel even worse, but just intensified my resolve to be strong for him) and encouraged MacD to be brave. He completed the mini-surgery and we went home. MacD was in extreme pain and couldn’t get out of bed for days.
Days went by and he continued to improve a bit some days better than others. This day he was able to come visit us on the patio, but shortly after this picture he had to go lie down.
To be continued…
November 17, 2007
It was 10am and I didn’t even have time to call Mr. Vixen at work before they wheeled MacD off again.
As I sat in the waiting room, I made phone calls. Suddenly the world started heaving and rolling beneath me. Dear God, I thought, it’s an earthquake. We are having an earthquake while someone stands over my son with a knife in his hands. Employees were running up and down the halls. As I sat stunned, I called home and told the kids to check the TV. Sure enough, we had just had a 5.7 earthquake. The kids said they had barely felt it. I was concerned because “barely felt” was nothing close to what I had experienced. I grabbed one of the nurses in the hall and was informed that the hospital was built on rollers to withstand damage during an earthquake. This made the tremors feel more significant inside the hospital. I went around the corner to the chapel again, dropped to my knees and began praying.
This surgery took almost two hours. Dr. B came out and explained that the disease had spread again, closer to MacD’s abdomen. He felt sure that this time he had gotten it all. I was curious as to how this could be so bad so fast? Dr. B said this disease appeared in the body like tiny vines, was hard to see, and spread very rapidly. This time, Dr. B said, he had left the wound open to better monitor. This meant the healing process would be much, much slower as we would have to wait as MacD healed from the inside out.
Upon return to his room MacD began vomiting uncontrollably. He was in terrible pain, opened up from rear to front, and retching. He was given a morphine pump. The nursing staff moved a bed in the room for me. The room was small and during the day they folded it up, put it in the hall, and marked it with a note that said “Do Not Take.” It was stolen borrowed every single day and each night we had to search for another. At one point we required something and were ignored for hours. I became angry and confronted the nurse. He explained he was new and quite busy, as the lady in the room next to us and passed away. As the shifts came and went we had good nurses and bad nurses. The packing in MacD’s wound had to be changed twice each shift. It was terribly painful to remove and to repack. One nurse actually cried, silently, at the pain he had to endure. One nurse, known to us as Jennifer Devil, RN was abrupt and unfeeling. At one point during a dressing change, MacD cried out that the morphine was not working. She rudely informed him that it was the same amount he always received added to his IV. I actually had to yell at her to stop what she was doing for a minute. Then I pointed out that she had indeed added the morphine to his IV, but had forgotten to open the drip up. She apologized, opened up the drip and told us she would return in five minutes after the medication had time to work. MacD was shaking violently with pain. That evening MacD was very thirsty. I had repeatedly asked for more water/ice and it had been an hour. I found Jennifer Devil RN at the desk. I repeated my request through the window. She pointed to her watch (it was 7:05 and shifts changed at 7:00), shook her head no, made a slicing motion across her neck and went back to her paperwork. I was furious. I complained to the new nurse and to the head nurse. After that, I found out that she requested to be assigned to another section of our floor as long was we were there.
MacD slowly improved. He was more coherent and didn’t need the morphine as much, except during dressing changes. Dr. B had been continually asking me if I was a doctor. At one point as a nurse was changing his dressing, she asked for my assistance. She said that Dr. B had told the staff that I was a nurse. I do have a long background in the medical field, but I am no nurse. I learned as I went and I learned fast. One day when MacD was very hungry I asked a CNA to find out what he could have. After some time, she returned and gave him a Boost. When she left the room and I grabbed it and read the ingredients. I called the nurse into the room and asked if someone who’s blood sugar was often nearing 600 should be given a sugar drink? Of course not. There were so many instances like that and I knew I was right to never leave his side.
The days were long and difficult. His friends came to visit and tried to cheer him up. I was not paying very close attention, but there was something about ‘assless chaps’ and the Village people. I laughed until I cried. Sparkles came daily and fell in love with the food cart girls. He would leave his phone number on the board and ask me to pass it on to them. One day MacD’s phone rang while I was at the cafeteria and it was in my purse. It was a friend of his who had been in a horrible car accident the night before, in which another friend of theirs had died. I told him not to call and kept it a secret from MacD until he was stronger.
On the seventh or ninth or eleventh day (I honestly can’t remember), Dr. B said that MacD could be discharged, but would still need wound care twice a day. We could go into a nursing facility or “would you, Dr. Mom, like to learn how to do it so you can keep him at home?” MacD thought that was a good idea. I wasn’t so sure, but for my son, I would do anything. Training began and by the next morning we were able to go home. As we were discharged, I asked Dr. B about MacD’s diabetes diagnosis and what medication he would take for that. Dr. B said he could not make that diagnosis (although the boy was on insulin the entire time we were there) and we should follow up with his primary care for that diagnosis.
To be continued….
November 17, 2007
It has come to my attention, via text message from MacD’s work that I inadvertantly omitted some important items of these parts of the story. One of them I swear I wrote, but reading back over them I an unable to see what happened to it…I should know better than to compose in wordpress itself, and stick to another program, save, copy and paste.
During that week and half, MacD began to feel better and became very bored. I had purchased a laptop for his graduation and gave it to him early. His adoration for Batman and Legos, known far and wide, had gifts of related items being delivered. He and I spent our days on the ‘net (via Netzero, no wifi then) and putting together intricate Lego Star Wars crafts. He dressed one day in a Batman outfit, complete with plastic gloves that shot rubber darts we shot at the bad nurses as they left the room.
Just before the second surgery, I had called the monsignor at our church. He said there was a priest from a church closer to the hospital that visited daily and he would have him stop by. I asked MacD if he would like him to stop by and he requested and received confession, communion and Last Rites, just in case. For those of you who don’t understand my faith (I don’t mean the Roman Catholic Church beliefs, but my own personal faith) know that this was a comfort to both of us.
On one particular day, a few days before we were discharged, Ladybug visited. At the time, she didn’t have any words, as she was only two months old. When we handed her to “Undle” with tubes coming out of his nose and looking peaked she made a sounded like “ugly”. He still hugged while we laughed and laughed.
Before he could be released, they required that he walk a certain amount of time each day. It was incredibly painful for him, as you can imagine. There was no way I could entice him to do it. Until his Dad thought of something. You see, MacD smoked cigarettes at the time (he has been quit now for almost two years) and he was “jonesing” for a smoke. So his Dad, said “Hey, MacD, if you walk around the floor enough times with your portable IV that the nurses feel comfortable with you going off the floor I will tell them you want to try other floors and we can sneak out down at the 2nd floor and smoke.” I know, I know probably not the best enticement, but it worked!
Back to the story a little later (probably tomorrow, as Ladybug just got here to visit!)…
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