The other night while Mr. Vixen and I were enjoying Jericho, Bear (who does not care for the show, but does think Skeet is sexyhawt) asked what time it was. I told her it was “quarter of ten.” To which she replies, “Ugh, so we have another 25 minutes of this show!” I said no, just 15 minutes. Then she says, “But a quarter is 25!”

I explained (whilst trying to control my giggles) that there are 100 cents in a dollar, so yes a quarter of a dollar is 25. However, there are only 60 minutes in an hour, so quarter of an hour is only 15 minutes. (Yes, she is a A-B grade junior in high school!).

Her response: “Sure, whatever.

Now why don’t all you sweet wonderful people run on over to Frigga’s and VOTE for me???? Mkaythanskverymuch

Moving is not fun. Well, possibly if you won the lottery and paid someone to move all your stuff and put it exactly where you want by reading your mind and all you had to do was drive over there and walk into a new mansion. Then it might be a little bit fun. I will say though that there are many positives resulting from our little move this past week.

  • I know I have mentioned them before, but they are worthy of mention yet again. I have not one, but two working toilets within my actual domicile. Not at the neighbors or in a freezing cold barn. And flushing them has not once caused raw sewage to spew into the yard a few feet from Bear’s door. I call that an extra added bonus.
  • I am so much closer to work I shaved nearly 30 minutes off my commute. With the average price of gas last week at high of $3.67 a gallon I have already saved $40 dollars in gas this week and I only went to work three days.
  • There is heat within my abode. Hard to think how I managed without it. Truly amazing stuff. I have never had radiant heat (in the ceiling) and it is warm without vents and drafts and not so dry. At the old place when we arose in the morning it was usually about 56 degrees and we would have to turn on the gas stove to warm it up enough to shower, because our little electric heater just couldn’t handle it.
  • Speaking of showers….this one is not a 3’6″ square. It actually has a tub. I can move around during a shower or soak in a tub.
  • On the weekend when Nanny and company came to visit, we were able to sit on couches (Thanks to a lovely gift from MacDougal of his old ones) and visit. We could only fit two chairs into the old place. We were also able to sit at the table and eat dinner.
  • This place is actually magical. One night I put our dirty dishes into this box under the cabinet and while I was sleeping pixies came and washed my dishes!
  • The washer and dryer are in the laundry (hall) closet. That means no going out through the rain and cold to wash and then hauling the laundry over to the barn to dry it.
  • A bonus laundry issue is there is hot water going to the washing machine. Do you know how much cleaner your clothes get when you can wash them in warm water?
  • You can walk down the hallway without having to turn sideways. In fact, two people can actually pass in the hallway.
  • Here I am allowed to actually hang things up. Our new place is now decorated and we were allowed to hang the toilet paper holder and towel racks too.

I could go on and on with things about not having gravel tracked inside, free water, wall to wall carpet, and electricity that works, but I will let you all go now. What was that? You say everyone has these things? Well, pshaw, who knew.

I do not have internet yet (should be done tomorrow!) and I have to walk down the road to find an unsecured network. I hope to be back full force soon and I will share an excellent story about Ladybug and some cute pictures of Butterball eating solid food! I may even be able to look up the Heads Or Tails for Tuesday and participate.

(NO, not that kind)

We are mostly moved. Some stuff still in the barn and I am just trying to live with the fear that they seize it or something (I always think the worst now… this is a complete and awful change for me).

New place: AWESOME. Two toilets that work. Room to move around. Washer and dryer inside the house so no frogs and leafs in my wash! The neighbors seem nice and filled me in on some slightly frightening information about the ‘hood. Will fill you in on that later. Ended up having to take Monday and Tuesday off work, so I am swamped.

Power cord arrived. However, the internet provider did not. Hopefully I can find some unsecured wifi to steal borrow and start posting some more!

MISS YOU ALL. WILL BE BACK, I promise. And then you will wish I stayed away, bwahahaha

PS: If you are here from Shutter Sisters (thank you, Mrs. Eaves) here is the link to my pictures. I am a beginner who likes to learn, so leave some comments, ideas and thoughts!

So those pictures I promised you of the eclipse? I did promise, didn’t I? At any rate, you have to go here to see the awesomeness for several reasons. You see her tripod is 2 times better than mine, her camera is three times better than mine, her talent is four times better than mine and her vision is five times better than mine (but, hey, she’ll get old someday too). I did, however, manage to capture 27 amazingly pure black photos of nothing but pure blackness before my batteries died. Quite good too, if you ask me. So go visit Nannygoat’s awesome recap of our eclipse evening.

The other day at Skittle’s Place I finally found out how to do those little lines in a post (above/below). Cool.

This morning I noticed I sent out an invoice to a customer in Slovenia with their company name wrong. The company is Geoservis and I sent it out Geocervix. I hope that translates better in Slovenian.

I need a place to live. It must accept dogs. It must be quick, before I lose my mind.

Everything I just said above is irrelevant. Until Mr. Vixen’s SSDI comes through I can’t do shit but wait and try to keep my kids and husband from hurting anyone. Most especially me.

I just had to add shit to my spell checker. Perfect.

My mom is sick. She developed CRPS earlier this week and was diagnosed with PPH a few months ago. She was doing ok with regards to the PPH until this week during the painful experience of CRPS and her oxygen sats went way down on Wednesday. The doctors put her on 24 hour continuous oxygen. I have been talking to her in the evenings and this morning I noticed she was on AIM (screen names changed to protect the innocent). This is how the conversation went (no worries she is okay and laughing at me as I type this):

vixen (10:10:04 AM): So how are you feeling this morning?

mom (10:12:26 AM): not great

vixen (10:12:38 AM): What’s up? Hand or breathing?

vixen (10:12:43 AM): Or everything?

mom (10:13:17 AM): yeah and a little nausous

vixen (10:13:32 AM): ugh

mom (10:14:16 AM): took a pill maybe it will help

vixen (10:14:32 AM): is it the meds that make you nauseous?

mom (10:14:52 AM): no onr nauseo

vixen (10:15:14 AM): huh?

mom (10:15:23 AM): one for

vixen (10:15:56 AM): but why are you nauseated? is it the pain meds or the fact that you are upset or that you can’t breath?

mom (10:16:55 AM): u bett call

mom (10:17:04 AM): er

vixen (10:17:22 AM): you want me to call the ER?

mom (10:17:34 AM): no me

vixen (10:17:53 AM): is dad there?

mom (10:17:59 AM): no

vixen (10:18:11 AM): I will call you an ambulance

mom (10:18:42 AM): no cant type call me

vixen (10:18:49 AM): oh ok, I see now, you want me to call you

mom (10:19:04 AM): duh

Seriously, I thought she wanted me to call the ER. It did strike me a little odd that she wanted me to call since I am 890 miles away and don’t know the number. Then when I got her on the phone she was laughing so hard and then she yells at me because I should know she can’t type well with only one hand.

From someone who probably should not give advise. Here goes anyway:

Dear Children Of Vixen:

You should trust me when I say finish college right after high school. Don’t get distracted by making some money, or getting married, or having a kid or three. Finish college first. Prime example: This guy, Rex Walheim, and I went to school together. We both got great grades. We both graduated from San Carlos High in 1980.  Today he is preparing for his launch February 7th via Atlantis (STS122) for a trip to the International Space Station, while I am preparing onion dip. Just think about that. I mean, I admit my onion dip is good, but still.




Dear Internet Reader:

To whoever found my site by G00gling “diabetic penis turns black” please stop G00gling and get thyself immediately to the hospital.


Vixen and, most emphatically,  MacDougal

I know what needs to happen. I am just unable to make it happen right now. I will find another place to live (actually I already have, but without Mr. Vixen’s SSDI check I can’t get in or afford it for now, so that will be on hold but a constant hope). I have a few requirements: (more…)

I have many issues. This blog is my lifesaver yet I have neglected it. As Harlekwin said in a comment, my depression is definitely situational. I have dug myself a pit and am unable to figure out exactly how I am going to get out of it. I, once again, don’t have a decent TT. I also have not posted the results from my TITT weeks ago. This will sound like a pity party, but I just want to put it out there anyway, because it makes me feel better.

There is not enough time in the day. And I seem to be much, much more exhausted with the pain. To me it seems I am in permanent limbo with these pain issues. I only get better if I don’t do anything. But I am out of paid time off and had to take Monday off without pay. Stupid ass bus that hit me.

It has been rainy and so my commute is longer (WHY can’t SoCal people drive in the rain???) which means I have less free time and more pain from sitting in the car.

There have been some issues with money. Like a lack of food and gas money. And a serious lack of money/diapers/telephone service/seizure medication over at Ladybugs house, so I have been giving all I have to that.

I took the g-babes and their parentals to the snow because I knew it wouldn’t last and it was only 21 miles up the road. We had a great time, but Ladybug had at least one seizure which I witnessed. It was very brief and something her parents witness weekly, but I don’t. Honestly it upset me at levels I hadn’t even recognized until I started typing this and started bawling.

Mr. Vixen’s disability seems to be in permanent limbo. I do not make enough money alone. It has been since August. Any longer and I will lose my only car and my electric and water and possibly my sleeping quarters.

I feel like the biggest, stupidest, most idiotic person on the place of the planet. I haven’t shared with you all (the only people I can share with) most of the stuff that has been happening at the homestead. I talked about how my toilet doesn’t work, but I didn’t tell you all that the barn toilet I was using also broke nearly two months ago. Now I am forced to use the toilet in Cousin It’s house. That is 2.5 acres away. My blood sugar has been poorly controlled and meds have been changed/increased. The side effects are…ummm….toilet usage. Spontaneously and direly in the middle of the night. It hasn’t always been possible. It has been ugly. During a conversation with my aunt/landlady the day after Xmas, I was very honest with her. Nearly hysterical in trying to explain to her how impossible this situation is. The result: “You don’t not have a bathroom. You just have a bathroom that is inconvenient to get to.” I also never told you all that after I moved in I found out there was full ducting for a heater in the MiniCabin, but that they had “saved money” and purchased it without a furnace. So not only do I not have heat (and it has been in the 25-30 range nightly for three months), but I have a bunch of vents that let cold air in. I finally taped cardboard over all of them. We have a lovely electric heater my mother bought me for Christmas, but then our electric bill for the month (the kids don’t have heat in their ‘rooms’ either and so have to use space heaters) was $750. Insanity. I have a plan, but it cannot come to fruition without Mr. Vixen’s SSDI. Catch-22. The stupid part, I continue to pay rent and they continue to harass me about paying it on time.

So many things. All wrong. Most likely illegal. Family. Stress. I have all these things I want to say and write and create. But I come home and suffer silently in pain. Jeebus, this isn’t what I wanted this post to say. But I have to put it somewhere. Please don’t think less of me…Signature

EDIT: Also I have a ton of pictures I want to put up on my 365 and I actually did some kind deeds that I need to post also!! I feel crappy about my lack of posting stuff!

2nd EDIT: After that pathetically sad post, I have to add this video. Because I keep having to go back to it so I can stop crying. It makes me smile and if I keep hitting replay I can forget the ‘look’ when she had the seizure and I hear is “3, 2, 1 Doh”:

Poor Marmagoo has no TV. which made me sad for her and then I remember LOST is back tomorrow and I started to have a little big panic attack. I have waited and waited for this show to return. This show is my nasty, dirty habit. I postponed my daughter’s wedding rehearsal by one night, because they wanted it at the same time as LOST was on (this was back in 2004 when it had just started). I wanted to hate LOST when they killed Charlie, but I couldn’t. There is probably a support group out there for me, but they say you can’t be helped until you are ready and I am soooo not ready.

My entreaty to Dri#ctTV: Please, please, please come out to the house and do whatever it is that you (supposedly) told Cousin It you had to do to fix the TV. I believe it is probably an issue with lack of payment (as it was the last three times it went off), but Cousin It claims you told him the “wind moved the dish” and that you couldn’t come fix it until Thursday. Tomorrow is Thursday. Dear lord of dish repair guys, I need you to be done before 8pm. I will bake you cookies. Here are some great LOST quotes to keep you motivated:

Mr. Eko: “Do not mistake coincidence for fate.”

Rousseau, briefing the castaways on the Others: “You’ve only got three choices: run, hide… or die.”

Desmond: “I push this button every 108 minutes. I don’t get out much.”

Hurley: “Dude, you’ve got some Artz on you.”

Locke, to Jack: “Do you really think all this… is an accident? That we, a group of strangers survived, many of us with just superficial injuries? We were brought here for a purpose, for a reason. All of us.”

Carry on.

The year is nearing its end, an new one waiting in the wings. It has been a year of good and bad, hard and easy, twists and turns. I shall recap the highlights for you with bullets:

  • January: I turned 44. It didn’t feel much different than 43. We took Ladybug to Great Great Grama’s cabin and she saw snow and went sledding for the first time.
  • February: Mr. Vixen, Bear, Fishboy and myself have a dream-like vacation in Hawaii.
  • March: My grandmother is diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer. I start this blog.
  • April: My landlady of 10 years informs me there is a court order to sell our house. We need to find someplace else to live. My eldest turns 23!!! The doctors discover they misdiagnosed grama’s cancer and she begins chemo for her treatable cancer. The stress of not knowing where I am going to live is nearly unbearable. My beloved 16 year old puppy Duchess passes away.
  • May: I find out I will have a place to live, but the decision (in the long run) to do business with family turns out to be a very bad idea. I have to move 10 years of stuff of a family of five into a 30 ft RV and two rooms.
  • June: Summer at the property is wonderful. Ladybug loves having a place to run, swing, jump, dig and play outside. My beautiful baby Bear turns 16!!!!
  • July: The latest Harry Potter book is released and I am the only person in the world who doesn’t read it. Mr. Vixen turns 46 (old man).
  • August: My world was turned upside down when Ladybug developed epilepsy. I celebrated 25 years of marriage to my soul mate. The very lovely Butterball joined the world and our family. I lost the use of my toilet. I got a new digital camera (woot).
  • September: My little baby boy MacDougal turned 21. We had a heatwave.
  • October: Our very beloved puppy, Don Juan Ralphito (Boo Boo) suddenly passed despite my attempts to save him. There was a terrible fire and Nanny et al were evacuated, then we were all evacuated and had to stay for three days in a hotel. While we watched the news and watched live video of our old home and many neighbors homes burn down.
  • November: Ladybug and Butterball have their first ever sleep over at my place. My mom comes for Thanksgiving and give me my Christmas present early! A very lovely heater (she gave it to me early, because we don’t have a furnace or heater in our place-that is something I did not know until after I signed the lease).
  • December: The toilet in the barn stops working and so I have to walk miles to use a restroom. The holidays are spoiled by the fact that things are very unhappy and uncomfortable between us and our landlady/aunt who comes to visit Cousin It AND by the fact that my power cord dies again!

A year of changes for sure. Some trials and tribulations. What to do after a year like that?

I am going to DISNEYLAND!

(taking the g-babes for their first Disney visit on New Year’s Day)

Next Page »