family


(For Thursday Thirteen scroll down)

Today is the fabulous, adorable, fantastic, energetic, loving, silly and one of a kind Ladybug’s third birthday. In her honor I have written her a Nonet. A Nonet is a poem of nine lines, the first of which is nine syllables, next 8, and so on.

cutladybugface

Ladybug my miracle grandchild

You defied modern medicine

You ignored dire predictions

Three years of joy you’ve shared

Your tribulations

Are lessons learned

Life is short

Enjoy it

Now

(For Wordless Wednesday scroll down)

In-the-window9x6

Periphery

I still watch over you, son

I’ll never stop worrying or praying or being proud

Your growing and changing, maturing and mating

It makes no difference to a mother’s care

On Monday you two will be joined

Sweethearts, friends, lovers and now mates for life

Together you create a new center, a new unit

And I shall rejoice in your joy from the periphery

 

Day Two. 28 more. Over and out.

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EDIT: The surgery was postponed for two weeks. Mr Vixen had some little cuts on his knee from the move (gravel injury) and at the pre-op doc was sure they would be fine by surgery. Fast forward to today when we spend nearly three hours down there checking in, IV, leg prep and then…..Doc comes in and says. I thought those would be more healed by now. Scabs have infection. I am postponing your surgery for two weeks.

You know how sometimes life just slaps you in the face. You are startled and your cheek is stinging. You forget what is happening in your every day-to-day existence.

One of the reasons I was so panicked when we got that ‘notice’ was because I knew we had a very limited time to move. Not just because of the notice. I could have stayed there, made them fight for it, and taken my time finding a place. No the reason being twofold: I have a bad back AND I need Mr. Vixen to help move. Most of the stuff we had to put in storage are his tools. Large, heavy tools he used to make a living with. Emotionally he is not ready to give up and die. He may not be able to work right now, but parting with those things he spent the last 25 years building and using to build was just not in the cards.

So I knew I had to move and be done with it before today, only 24 days after our notice. Here is the part I forgot to mention…Mr. Vixen is having surgery today. It is not the full knee replacement he needs. They won’t do that yet. They want to try this first. This surgery will not solve any problems, it will just make the pain bearable. Just a hope of a less painful daily life. According to the expert sources (doctors), a knee replacement these days only lasts 15 years. Since Mr. V is only 46 they want to try and stave off the replacement until (they hope) it will last him the rest of his life or replacement surgery improves so greatly that they last longer.

So, I will be hanging out in the hospital today, if you are looking for me. It is a new surgery center I have not been to before so at least I will have a new place to explore! I am a bit sick of the local hospital and Children’s hospital. I have explored every nook and cranny of those places! If you can fit it in, keep the crotchety old man Mr. Vixen in your thoughts.

Happy Monday everyone! I will be back later and while caring for the crip sleepy, post-op man, I may be able to post some Easter pictures up at my photography blog!

While I am at church…finally

Here is a peek at me from last evening.

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  1. Money :: The root of all evil AND an ends to a means
  2. Unhappy :: Not anymore!
  3. Joking :: What I am usually doing
  4. Chipmunk :: Alvin
  5. Date :: Special remembrances
  6. Slideshow :: I see them in my head everyday, of my life
  7. Chicago :: Grampa. I miss you.
  8. Lifetime :: An achievement I am working on.
  9. Skid row :: San Francisco visits with Pop.
  10. Edward :: A King

Back later with some pictures of egg smooshing coloring by Ladybug!

I came out yesterday. To my mother. I think at our ages (45 and 65 respectively) we are mature enough, worldly enough, and close enough to share this place. I won’t hold back anything. I will still be me.

I feel confident I have nothing to hide. I am who I am. I mean sure, there was that time I called her a hypochondriac and all, but HEY, my brother and one of my daughters are hypochondriacs too and it doesn’t diminish my love and respect for them one tiny bit!

I have always been a bit reserved with my family. And maybe a bit afraid that they would think me too kooky or flighty. But I am confident in who I am now and who we are as a family. I also have confidence in them to take what I write here for what it is meant. A creative outlet. Not black and white. Not always serious. Not meant to be hurtful. It is just what I see, feel or think at one moment and is highly subject to change in the next five minutes.

If she doesn’t run screaming from the Den immediately and sticks around and (gulp) starts commenting….she is going to need a super secret internet name. Any suggestions?

EDITED: Before I could share this with you, my dear mother jumped in with both feet and made a comment on the previous post. It is so touching and heartbreaking, I wish to share it here. As an introduction to my mom. Who said “I don’t share, but I left you a message.” I told her this is a safe place. A wondrous place of support and love. A community. Here is her entry, a little message from a mom/grama/great-grama at home on Easter Eve with no family at her house for the first time:

The eggs are cooked, the dye is fizzing. The crayons and egg dippers, carefully placed on the egg dying tablecloth. Droplets on my cheek, is it raining? Where are the kids. I can’t find the kids.

I think she can share and share beautifully. Now you get a little idea where my writing talent comes from. So help me come up with a super secret internet name for her?

Have a blessed Easter Morning.

I got this in an email this morning. It made me feel better.

“To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did” When God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence….. ‘The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.’

My plan for the weekend:

  • Get my grandmother’s mirror and sell the hot tub
  • Confession – for my sake. I have never needed it so badly
  • Coloring Eggs with all the kids (big and small)
  • Early mass
  • Presents for the kids (anyone got any ideas? It is tradition that it is something little and something for ‘springtime’ i.e., bubbles, badmitton set, etc)
  • Honeybaked ham, homemade potatoe salad (my mom’s special recipe)
  • Kicking back and enjoying the feeling that I have been liberated from an awful hell.

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