The votes are in folks. It is my hope that with these results we can change the world, shape our future and achieve world peace. Or not.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled program for this brief public service announcement: The opinions expressed herein are Vixen’s and Vixen’s alone. They may change at any given moment. If you do not like them or you do not find Vixen amusing do not tell her. She is extremely sensitive and prone to crying fits. Thank you.

Without further ado (and without cool graphs because I searched half the day and couldn’t find one that I liked worked) here are the results and my opinions:

Men in turtlenecks, yea or nay? 52% in favor, 44% against (4% confused me). When I invented this question I was deep in the NAY camp. I was pleasantly surprised when some of you gave me examples I could agree with. Result: Dudes you may wear turtlenecks, IF you have the body to pull it off!

Roger Moore as James Bond, yea or nay? 38% in favor, 54% against (8% don’t know who Roger Moore is and thus are too young to vote). Once I saw Sean Connery as ‘007 I realized how awful RM was! When the Remington Steele guy took over I just erased all the RM versions from my mind! Result: Remake all the RM ‘007 movies, especially since the writers are on strike…those ones are already written!

A stirrup pants come back, yea or nay? 11% in favor, 82% against (7% waffled). To be perfectly honest (don’t take it personally 11%) if this had passed I would have moved to…to…to….umm some country where they are outlawed. Result: Stirrup pants, hit the road Jack and dontcha come back no more, no more.

Is Britney Spears newsworthy, yea or nay? 12% in favor, 77% against (11% tired of it). I think we can all agree that this girl is a real live train wreck and the world can’t stop watching. Result: Let her destruct out of the limelight!

Hillary Clinton as president, yea or nay? 40% in favor, 37% against (22% holding their tongues). I should have qualified this question. I wasn’t looking for anyone’s political leanings, I was more looking for your opinion of a woman as president if she got elected. Too much was left to interpretation with this question and the results proved equivocal. Result: The idea of Hillary as President creates division.

Do you think your presidential vote will count, yea or nay? 46% in favor, 35% against (20% live in Florida). I was trying to gauge whether people believed their vote produces actual results. I am not sure if we believe in effect or affect? Result: Is it just me or does the entire process seem overly complicated?

Reality TV, yea or nay? 46% in favor, 50% against (4% don’t watch TV). Some of you qualified your answer with a particular show and to me that was a yes. The other half of you hate it. I wonder how the ratings are so high? Result: Without it, what would you discuss around the water cooler?

Do debates influence your vote, yea or nay? 35% in favor, 58% against (7% numb). I asked this because I personally find them the biggest waste of time ever. I like to debate. I can change my own mind given enough time. What I see don’t appear to be debates. They don’t inspire me, challenge me or make me think. To me it looks like a bunch of ninnies fighting over sound bites. Result: If there has to be debates, let’s have less planning and canned answers. Let us see some passion, intelligence and quick thinking!

Seat belts on school buses, yea or nay? 68% in favor, 20% against (12% playing hooky from school). I honestly think that not only would the seat belts make it safer, I also believe it would cut down on a lot of the dangerous rowdiness and bullying that happens these days. Result: Buckle up our kids!

Was there a President Kennedy assassination conspiracy, yea or nay? 58% in favor, 4% against (38% brainwashed). Funny, but I honestly have no idea one way or the other… Result: Agent Muldar admits aliens were involved, but the files are sealed.

Pioneer Womanโ€™s new puppy or Dooceโ€™s new puppy, choose one. 32% PW, 24 % Dooce (44% stunned into silence or silenced by their cat). I added this one because not a day passes that my youngest doesn’t debate this with me. I change my mind daily and so does she. I recuse myself due to bias. Result: Dogs rule and cats drool.

Watch the Superbowl just for the commercials, yea or nay? 38% in favor, 12% against (50% are really missing out). People may I just say two things: Football and Funny. I was disappointed last year with the commercials, but hope springs eternal here at Football Junkyland. Result: We won’t buy your product, but we would like it if you make us laugh anyway!

Do you trust network news, yea or nay? 23% in favor, 65% against (12% don’t get those channels). It warms the cockles of my heart to know that so many of you feel the same way I do. I was beginning to think I was paranoid. I don’t want someone’s opinion or interpretation of the news. I want facts. I am intelligent enough to decide for myself. Result: Change the channel. Hurry. They are watching you through those channels. They can hear you and your husband discussing how stupid the government is. If you are not careful they will came and get you.

By the way, I was clueless what to do with the ‘yeahnay’, ‘depends’, and ‘maybe’ answers. If the rest of your answer gave me any indication of a leaning then I went that way. Otherwise, I counted it in the “A” category. The “A” category encompasses all votes I could not put in the “Y” or “N” category and also contains the votes of those who abstained. With these rules you can rest assured the results are completely accurate. I have submitted them to Congress for action. (They will also be featured on F&x News Tonight at 7 p.m. CPT**). Thanks to all who participated!

**Crazy Person Time

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