I had grandiose plans for this lovely three-days off work holiday weekend. The last several weekends have been so hectic I haven’t been able to kick back and relax. I also haven’t had time to clean or do laundry. So all day yesterday I was looking forward and planning. I will catch up all the laundry. Set up the badminton net. Set up croquet. Hang out with the kids. Drink some ice cold beer and beat Mr. Vixen at horseshoes. Sleep in. Wash the car.

It started well enough. I slept in until 7am. Then I had to get up and beat the crap outta yell at my basset hound because she could not stop whooooofing. Not exactly the target time I was shooting for, but I’ll take the extra hour and move on. I went out to the porch for a cuppa with Mr. Vixen and found that I couldn’t breathe. It was already 96 degrees and 8 gazillion percent humidity. I sat there, sweating, for a bit contemplating how this affected all my plans. I was wilting and it wasn’t even 8am. Well this screws up everything. It’s too hot to do anything.

Do you know how crazy people here are? Seriously insane. We are in the middle of a heatwave and they go to the desert. It’s a mass exodus. It hits 102 three days in a row, they say to themselves…..Ooohh let’s go to the desert! Where it’s 118 degrees in the shade and we can get sand in our hair/mouths/sleeping bags! We can ride crazy machines that put off even more heat! It’s a holiday so we can swelter for an entire extra 24 hours! It will be fun!

Being the sane person I am (I am too!), I did not start packing for the desert. I turned on the air conditioner. At 8:30am. Because I don’t do heat. Or sweating. Or melting. I am just not into it. Now what?

Oh I know. I can clean the house.

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Done. That killed 15 minutes (see #2). But it made me all sweaty. Gross. Took a cold shower. Treated the dogs with flea stuff. Decided to watch my soaps cruise the internet. I don’t watch soaps. They are on during the day. During the day I work. So I read blogs and ponder the questions of the universe. When will Shelly send me the squares? Who is that mysterious lady? Will WM survive in a world without the mystery product? Will Jessica switch to wordpress? What is wrong with DB? Will there ever be another sleepover at Sumgirls? Will Marlee’s roots be ok? Will Bos ever post again? Deep stuff, eh? You know you are wondering too. Admit it. (You, in the back there, I do to have a life!!!!!!).

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I attempted another foray into the great outdoors. I swept the front porch. All 6×11 feet of it. Then Mr. Vixen had to get the mop. To clean up the puddle of sweat I made. Another cold shower. Gonna go to the library. Grab a book. Expand my mind.

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