I can’t get this song out of my head. I remember, as a child, when things were tough for me I would go find a place alone and sing it at the top of my lungs. Music has always been a major influence in my life, but I can not hold a note or sing in tune. But something about singing it as loud as I could, always made me feel better. That was during the very dark times of my life. I haven’t remembered waking up with it running through my head in maybe 30 years. Until this morning. Does that mean something? I know I am down, at the depths of something I can’t seem to put my finger on. Just an overwhelming something. A freind said today “I don’t like needing help.” For me that is an understatement. I don’t need help, I have always been in charge, I am always the strong one who makes things right. But this week, I asked for help. I don’t know when I slipped into this, but I just realized I am here. I thought I saw it coming and then I thought it was okay. Then I woke up one day and it had come right over me and I missed it.

So, I woke up this morning and the song was back. Maybe it means nothing. Maybe it means I need to start searching for my rainbow again, because Lord knows I am not doing well on this side of it.

Advertisements