May 2007

But in case you forgot…..moving sucks. AND I won’t have internet (except here at work, shhhhh) until June 5th.  Just didn’t want you all to think I had gone and died or anything (although it may have been close a couple times, especially that time when I was almost crushed between the side of the house and a sideways hot tub). Oh the stories to tell….soon.

Seriously go read this recap of Season 3. Its some of the funniest stuff I have ever read. If you are at work, close your office door. You have been warned.

In my family I am known as the Queen of Sarcasm, just so ya know. In case there is confusion, let me restate: the following comment is dripping with sarcasm.

I am currently having the time of my life.

Just wanted the universe to know.

I know many of you may not care, but Jericho is being cancelled and its the only thing I have to live for (besides LOST, but one cannot survive on only one show in life). I would appreciate it if you will all go and sign the petitions to save this show. Do it for me, because I am nice and I deserve all the help I can get and I would do it for you! 

Sometimes (ok quite often for me) a song captures how I feel or live my life and I just gotta belt it out:
You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin’
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might never come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain’t good
And when I pray
It doesn’t always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This world’s gone crazy
It’s hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love ’em anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain’t good
And when I pray
It doesn’t always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
Yea – I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singing
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they’ll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yea – sing it anyway

I sing
I dream
I love
-Martina McBride – Anyway

Seriously, there is something very, very, very wrong with me. Last night I, who rarely ever dreams, had several dreams about which all I could recall everytime I woke up (many times) was that Martin Lawrence was in them. WTF? I had to look up his name when I got to work, because when awakened in the night all I could remember was his name was Martin and he was in some cop movie with Will Smith. What the hell is he doing in my dreams? Is there a recovery program for this?

My home was wheeled in yesterday. Now all they have to do is ?level? it and hook up power/water/sewer. Here is Mini Cabin (formerly known as the RV):
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I am sitting here working my butt off (that can’t be true, or my butt would be much smaller) and I get an IM from Bear who is babysitting Ladybug:

Bear: (3:32:12 PM): this is about your grandchild’s day

Bear: (3:32:23 PM): first

Bear: (3:32:33 PM): your husband locked her in the dog run (note she says “your husband”, apparently not claiming him as dad today)

Bear: (3:35:01 PM): now after that

Bear: (3:35:09 PM): we played with chalk outside      

Bear: (3:36:31 PM): then after that

Bear: (3:36:40 PM): we cooled off in the sprinklers

Bear: (3:38:58 PM): then since it was such a long day

Bear: (3:39:15 PM): we relaxed on the chair and watched elmo

Bear: (3:40:43 PM): hahah

Bear: (3:41:01 PM): she did the whole arms behind her head thing herself

That baby Bear is a most awesome daughter. Don’t know how she knew today was a day I really needed something like this. I love my kids!

I can’t get this song out of my head. I remember, as a child, when things were tough for me I would go find a place alone and sing it at the top of my lungs. Music has always been a major influence in my life, but I can not hold a note or sing in tune. But something about singing it as loud as I could, always made me feel better. That was during the very dark times of my life. I haven’t remembered waking up with it running through my head in maybe 30 years. Until this morning. Does that mean something? I know I am down, at the depths of something I can’t seem to put my finger on. Just an overwhelming something. A freind said today “I don’t like needing help.” For me that is an understatement. I don’t need help, I have always been in charge, I am always the strong one who makes things right. But this week, I asked for help. I don’t know when I slipped into this, but I just realized I am here. I thought I saw it coming and then I thought it was okay. Then I woke up one day and it had come right over me and I missed it.

So, I woke up this morning and the song was back. Maybe it means nothing. Maybe it means I need to start searching for my rainbow again, because Lord knows I am not doing well on this side of it.

Go here and watch this. It makes me smile.

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