There is so much daily I want to talk about on here. But it seems I can’t get it into words, because I feel the need to explain everything before I post about it. So I said, self, just start doing it. And myself is trying to listen.

My life is miserable these days. Sure there are other people out there who have it worse. That does not lessen my pain or suffering. I still feel my pain and discomfort without taking away from anyone else’s suffering. And this is my den. And since I have been unable to chew through my leg and escape yet, I will use this space for what it is….a bitchfest on bad days and my bragging spot on good days.

I am so worried about where I am going to live. Since Mr. Vixen stopped working last August, things around here have become increasingly difficult (nearly impossible) on the financial side. I have rented the same place for 10 years this December and the rent has been really exceptional for this area and the landlord very understanding when things are tough. But now they must sell the home (court ordered). I don’t know where to go. I simply cannot afford the rent in this area. And I wouldnt be able to come up with first/last and/or deposit. My kids keep asking what my plan is…..I always have a plan (or so they think). I don’t have one. And it hurts my brain beyond belief to try and come up with one…what to do? I may have an out…a little secret out that may happen which I can’t explain right now. But the problem is, these people who are working on the secret something (people who seem to want to help me) can’t tell me anything…or won’t because they don’t want me to be disappointed. But what am I to do? Just tell my family…we are in limbo, you can hang in there? We have no plan, but I hope we won’t need one? Am I going to have to sleep in my van? Arrgh.

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